After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
