I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
