and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
