I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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