I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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