Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
