how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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