how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
