I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
