Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
4 words: hood of his car
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Pooping to opera.
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