The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
