On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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