i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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