people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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