i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
