i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
