I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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