just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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