you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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