I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
