Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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