There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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