every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I understand Curling. That high.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
