i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
