paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
