I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I think i got beer on your cat.
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