Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
