Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
