this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
