dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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