That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
