community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
