i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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