you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
