R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
