Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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