Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
