didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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