I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
