areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
