if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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