Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
