I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
