everyone is single if you try hard enough
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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