I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
