butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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