I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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