She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
