My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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