If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
