no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
