my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
