What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
