what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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